Diary of an Over-Sensitive Person — 20.08.2018
It’s funny that we seem to meet people who are starved for acknowledgement. Even at the things they have achieved naturally. Things that shouldn’t be praised that much, unexpectedly taking over the theme of conversation for the need of self-recognition.
Such as ; mothers with habits of emphasizing the fact that they are in their second, third, or fourth pregnancy.
Constantly trying too hard to rebuke the theory of “more children means more expenses”. Posting hundreds congratulatory pictures of their doctor’s visit, and making proud taglines all over their social media status of welcoming baby no.1 , 2 or no.3.
Or men who helped their wife’s chores and feel the need to announce it to the world. In every chance they get they’ll mention it. “Wow, didn’t really notice the texts are so many..just finished mopping the kitchen!”
Or the angry ones trying to project the importance of their work in the office :
“Look am pretty loaded with new project emails, I don’t exactly have time to watch that overrated show..”
Sharp replies as if the others are not as prominent as he is:
“Most of us have work to do, let’s discus that some other time when I am not busy.”
Ouch. We get it,ok?
But wait a minute, am I being overly sensitive about all this?
Taking serious offense of things that some people may want to just blurt it out with no specific tendency?
Ego with A Loose Brakes
It turns out, ego have a powerful effect on how you would get offended at the slightest remarks people decided to say to you. Ego, self-esteem and intellectual determined how much you want to make sensitivity as your frequent visitor.
We’ve heard that hormones played a significant number of roles including stress. Particularly in female. But Ego is the actual platform of it. How everything gets boiled or coldly passed. The junction of our cluttered minds can crashed badly or not is determined on their velocity driven by the ego.
So what is Ego ? and can we ever, truly, live without them? How is it connected to being too sensitive about something?
Getting to know that dormant ego.
Ego is that awareness voice in your brain, where it controls and protect the image of a personality in between your consciousness and self-importance. It gets defensive once and a while, preserving the state of your mind, your way of thinking, in order to hold self-esteem.
Now if that still didn’t elaborate the ego concept clear enough, Eckhart Tolle have a different set of explanations.
“Conditioned patterns—or egoic behaviors, one could say—don’t go away immediately as you become present. They have their momentum—especially patterns associated with emotional residues we call “pain-body.” They may act out for quite a while, even as presence is arising.”
There will always be a compartment in your mind where ego lives dormantly, with the rest of emotional issues, recurring or new. Understanding their presence and characteristics, the aspects that usually made them to come out to the surface, is the realest thing we can try to notice every now and then.
They are never going to go anywhere, but as you recognised it over and over, your ability to managed it by instinct, will ripen.
Here are two examples of an everyday conversations. One which obscured by ego and the other one can be pronounce as fairly offensive.
1. The remedy.
Peter : “I finally purchased that drug you recommend me over the counter at the pharmacy last night.”
Sandy : “Ok, be sure to take it 1 hour after dinner. When it starts to kick in, get yourself a good sleep. Always be hydrated to speed up the recovery.”
Peter : “Got it!”
A week after.
Peter : —-posting a picture of a different new drug from the clinic.— “worked like a charm!”
Sandy commented : “ow? It did? Good for you.”
What Sandy felt was that his advice (the drug of his choosing) were unconvincing for Peter, compared to the prescribed one from Peter’s clinic. On the other side, Peter simply wanted to share what was also worked for him. He added another collection of remedies that probably can have some use for Sandy in the future. Now that’s the Ego taking the wheel of your perspective and end up being over-sensitive.
2. The Diaper Bag.
A friend at work was going to have a baby shower and Gaby decided to give a set of presents collected from their group of friends chipping in. That includes the baby diaper bag, a set of bed sheets and quilt, plus a feeding chair. Everyone trusted Gaby to do the shopping since she was pretty much available at the time. Just when things are going in the right direction 3 days prior the
event, Cathy, one of the girls called Gaby that evening. She told her that she ordered another diaperbag, from a luxurious, well-known brand. She insisted that the bag, already paid, to be included specifically as part of the gift. Of course Gaby was baffled.
Are there going to be two diaperbags to be compared side by side ? What was exactly Cathy trying to portrayed here? Did she suggested the bag that Gaby opted to buy last week wasn’t a decent present? Does any of the girls know about this? Is Cathy in some way trying to prove she has a better taste to the rest of the girls and the baby-shower friend? Gaby called two other girls and they weren’t notified about the new diaper bag from Cathy.
VIA PHONE CONVERSATION :
Janet : “If it were other than a diaperbag, maybe it wasnt so strange. Are we supposed to replaced what we’ve already bought, with hers?”
Sarah : “We can’t exactly gave two diaperbags, especially considering that Cathy were quite “Extra” with the expensive one. I have no idea what is she up to with the idea that she never discussed it before..”
This is not your ego coming out of its shell, but clearly a well-rounded display of financial brag wrapped in so-called-charity. It is a bit discouraging. Considering Gaby has gathered this group and being appointed by the members to procured the gift items. Cathy clearly did not bring the idea previously in group talks.
Either Cathy failed to properly respect Gaby’s and the group approvals, or interested in inviting a competition into the scene. Repeat the story in a complete truth the next period of time with a friend, and you will find which cases you acted too sensitive about, and which ones are actually hurtful.
Hypersensitivity and Its Perks
It is still believed that people within some spectrum, are potentially experiencing hypersensitivity. They felt certain distractions or stimulation even more intense than anyone else, normally. It can frequently disrupt the ability to concentrate. Resulting in an undesignated procrastination.
However, people who are super sensitive, like a chameleon, are profound with their deep absorbance of a circumstantial mood, music, and deeper empathy for others.
Whether it is caused by internalised factors, such as genetics, illnesses, hormones, or external pressure from challenging relationships, financial strains, and many more, there are steps to drive it down or at the least, reduce the effect in your life.
A. Stop overthinking for a minute.
After what was said and done, the most redundant thoughts will carved its way inside your mind.
Further, and further and as you let it, it became tumultous. This is where an intervention is required. A pause to pull you back in the present time. Focus on your breathing. Take a phone application if you have to, for a guided-inhale-exhale for each intervals.
B. Rewind the same story hours later.
After setting your foot on the ground and a clearer mind, you need to deliver a different routine for at least 2 hours.
Step outside if you are inside a room to change the scenery, and avoid returning to the inconvenient subject. Take a walk, go shop for mineral water or maybe even a chocolate bar. Reply some emails. Anything busy and supports you to omit the problems for at least an hour. And then grab a warm tea, sit solo or with a friend to repeat the same story. After several hours, ask yourself, is that part really agitating or was I just being too sensitive?
C.Leave the Circus.
Going further and away we flew to the mountains of negative thoughts on how others are going to perceived us. Worrying excessively that it will drag you to a particular unwanted atmosphere. The atmosphere of constant meltdown. Feeling overly sensitive and hard to shrug it off. It’s time that you see what exist in the now.
Retreat by putting the burden away for a while. You can also put down the proud hat, strip yourself from the extravagant thoughts. Sometimes, the eagerness to be bow down by others. Because we need to ask ourselves this : is our life has to be a competition all the time? It’s better to outgrow in these humbling situations. Read it more here.
As you realize we don’t always hold the control to everything. Not everyone loves to be in a competition, nor they deserved to be. Instead, tune in to what is really in front of you. Your family, your good books at home, your cat, blessings that are present surrounds you. Leave the circus with humbling yourself. As Morgan Harper Nichols, a renowned poet once said ;
“And more than you worry about being admired by your heroes, and respected by your critics, may you tend to the garden in front of you.”
A writer and entrepreneur with profound interest in humankind research and insights. An avid coffee drinker and book hoarder. Hours and days spent in Jakarta.