Outgrow, the feared stage of life


How many times we tried to mend ourselves for the undeserving treatment from others? Name that your friend, your colleague, your client and more often, your significant others. It could be lies, misdemeanor after misdemeanor maybe even a betrayal. Happiness often get sacrificed. And just like that, another forgiving ship sailed ever so easily. 

Came another barge of a false comfort zone, when it was something that shouldn’t ever to begin with. 

Like breaking a bad habit, the hurt comes and go, and it was hard to measure how much should we take to accommodate a relationship? How long should we stay? The fear of losing someone often blurred the scale of happiness.

Questions like “Isn’t this part of the package?” Or, a self-loathing opening line such as, “Did you think you were perfect to not take that?” 

Or that voice that exclaimed, “But you will never find anything that wasn’t for better or worse!”.  Acceptance of these truthful circumstances can be painful, and full of resistance. Things starting to falter, and the longing of normality ceased its limit.

It was surely a battle we’ve visited before, and perhaps still? Moving on is not nearly the same idea of letting go, it was more of recognizing who is the true person behind all of your unnecessary filter of love or tolerance. By some means our “survival mode” improved as we grew older, everything is always a process.

The decision to commit did not always have to be happily ever after, and regrets may come uninvited. 

Outgrow is a Choice

It is typically known that the anxiety maze is responsible for your incapability of seeing things crystal clear. This state of mind unallowed you to perceive how this is nothing but a speck of misfortunate in your big, infinite world. 

Do you need to be sitting in Mars or the Moon to have it dawn on you? Happiness is a choice, so does outgrowing.

Or you can just switch your perspective to another set of views, and discover the fact that the world keeps revolving with its gazillion chances, with or without this person.

Unless you’re Merlin, never in someone’s life they can predict what the future holds through a crystal ball, so every blame placed on you should be vanquished. You,deserved happiness.

Some things happen for a reason and you don’t always have to know everything including every significant reason. Acknowledging that it happened, and it’s not making your life benevolent is enough for you to discontinue the agony. It is never too late to undo you from the mess. Sink it in and wake up as hard as you can as if you’re rising from the ocean below.

After this, you will enter that moment of revelation. Once you are convinced with this path of acceptance, you are finally free. That my friend is a new start called: outgrowing.



Author: Fraya

A writer and entrepreneur with profound interest in humankind research and insights. An avid coffee drinker and book hoarder. Hours and days spent in Jakarta.


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