The Remarkable Listener

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Being a good listener is a rare quality we often find nowadays, in an era where everything is about showing off what’s going on in your life on social media. There is something humane and sincere about listening intently to someone. According to Wikipedia, the act of listening involves complex affective, cognitive and behavioral processes.

Yes, listening can become a challenge as we grow old each day. If the ability to hear is a blessing, listening can be considered a skill, because not everyone seems to understand and cared enough to do it. A personal set of thoughts must be kept aside for a certain period when you perform the act of listening. It is hard work, even if it is only for the sake to presume a ping-pong timing conversation.


The Listener Benefits are For Themselves

When listening feels like a chore, in the end believe it, the effects are astonishing and can be somewhat life-altering because we perceived things clearer afterwards. Here’s several reasons why.


1. The story makes sense better

If we listen better, it decreases the missing link and the unidentified puzzles. You can grasp a lot from a person in one sitting when you know when to step on your chattering brakes. Accepting and cherish the other party to speak their mind. As a bonus, sometimes secrets can be revealed at moments when the speaker trusted you. This frequently took place in a personal corridor or one-on-one conversation.


2. You left the conversation without blurting out unnecessary things

By listening more, you would think twice to give in your version of the story. Real listening is a single-narrative angle process. You would want to focus on the speaker side of the story, not yours. This purpose prevents distractive responses from your side. Diminished the temptation to cut-off with words you don’t intend to say or story you didn’t really need to share.


3. You judge less 

Reducing the misheard or the failure to comprehend. Less room to spare for miscommunications when you listen to them on a complete chart. Automatically, decreases the mind to roam at places you shouldn’t even be. In other words, when we are filled with a thorough knowledge, judging as fundamentally as it is for us human beings, will cease at some point.


4. Being a listener teaches us patience

In welcoming what nature has to offer we have to hear the sound of it first, then decide whether are we joining the course or avoiding it. In daily life, listening may seem like a common practice, but the real advantages come highly impactful in a lot of elements. It teaches us not to be haste in jumping to conclusions. The practice of withholding our thoughts and words at first brings us closer to the more substantial meaning in conversations.


5. Your company is always expected 

Whether in a close circle of friends or a romantic relationship, the presence of a good listener is similar to a warm hug. As you attentively listened, it sharpens empathy and eventually created a bond with your chat mate. They would feel appreciated, seen, and heard just by the very own act of listening.


The Path to Become a Remarkable Listener

Listening have several types that are quite known until today. There are passive listening, critical listening, sensitive listening, and active listening. What we want is to apply what is best in every situation, with each of the unique conditions. But, here are the obvious, simplified path to the journey of becoming a remarkable listener.


An undivided attention 

This isn’t as simple as putting your phone in your bag. It is also about being present. The willingness to give full attention and the acceptance to switch off your defensive mode. The majority of distractions came in the challenge of hearing offensive remarks that might trigger a certain response.


Disregard your own image pertaining

Nothing will ever keep up if you keep worrying about what to say next or how to always repeat your version of any topic. Not everything has to hear our side of the story.

As a listener, finding a contributive place is a must

Nothing held a barrier sturdier than noise pollution. In a matter of effective listening, peaceful, serene surroundings are highly recommended to fulfill a true listening experience.


You are not the expert on everything, but someone is always an expert at something

When it comes to listening, there is a basic of acceptance that works at the core of it. The humility about how we don’t always have to be perceived as the know-it-all person. A relaxing mindset about being a listener is that we don’t always have to prove we can solve every problem, nor we are needed to. There’s a freedom within the concept of just letting the flow be as it is as we absorbed the information.


Choose your person

You have every right to eliminate all forms of abuse in listening activity. When you know a few people are not worth your time and you do not want to engage in any terms of communication, then don’t. Selective listening is for things you need to resolve with a conflicted party to serve an exceptional purpose. Do not dehydrate the energy flow you have, by an exhausting filtering strategy when you can protect your peace wisely by canceling the encounter.

Author: Fraya

A writer and entrepreneur with profound interest in humankind research and insights. An avid coffee drinker and book hoarder. Hours and days spent in Jakarta.

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